We fell into Mutual Weirdness and Called it Love

C.S. Lewis states: Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. It is the comparison that makes you proud. Once the element of competition is gone, pride is gone" (Mere Christianity, pp. 109-10).  Generally I think of how I can be prideful towards people of other racial status, financial status, etc. Rarely have I thought of how pride can affect my marriage for the worse. I suppose that is why Heavenly Father has established marriage as a solid union between husband and wife; we need to learn to truly see each other as equals and not let our motives be to please ourselves.  In my opinion, the opposite of pride is selfless love. I am being prideful if I indignantly choose to put my own needs before my husband's more often than not. Of course it is important at times to take care of ourselves, and our spouse should understand this.  Lately, however I have not put my husband's needs first many times. I have made a vi...

I have been thinking a lot about the word 'sacrifice' this week. My husband gets up early, goes to work, puts me first in the best way he can, comes home late, studies, and does it all over again, without complaining. What sacrifices do I make for him? What can I work on? We are currently expecting a baby, and it has been a really rough pregnancy for me. However, I am finding that even when I do not feel well, there are small sacrifices I can make for my husband. I can make a lunch for him, put a frozen dinner in the oven, and clean to the best of my abilities. I can help him study, give him hugs, and encourage him when his pilot training has got him feeling discouraged.  Overall, I think that as long as both partners are actively trying to give to one another without expecting the same sacrifices in return, a marriage can be successful. I am convinced that serving well in our families will create more Christlike characteristics in us than anything else. 

This week I watched a video of a couple discussing finances. There was a lot of conflict about what the money should be used for. Dr. John Gottman explained that there is much more to this issue than the money itself; it is about the DREAMS of each spouse. The wife wanted to keep her horse because of the emotional connection she feels with him, and the husband wanted to save for a boat and a cabin someday. This really got me thinking about the importance of dreams. I think that in a marriage, spouses should be helping each other pursue and achieve their dreams. Of course, some dreams cannot be fulfilled due to one thing or another. But, many times, dreams can be accomplished with support and love.  For example, one of my dreams is to have a degree. Being an online student was never something I imagined I would be, but it seems to be the best way to obtain the degree I seek. My husband is completely supportive of this. He spends money on my classes and books. He sacrifices time w...

Bruce C. Hafen touched my heart this week with his talk on a "Covenant Marriage." In a contract, each person gives 50 percent. But in a covenant, each individual gives 100 percent.He tells this story to describe a covenant marriage:  "Another bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, “Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!” “Yes,” replied her mother, “but at which end?” When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent." I also like that he says in a covenant marriage, "they marry to give and to grow." Instead of taking and receiving, we are to g...

I understand that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. I do not disregard that belief. However, as I read the readings and watched the videos for this week, I began to see what a complex issue gay marriage is in society. After reading OBERGEFELL v. HODGES, I understood more fully that there are many homosexual individuals that do not wish to debilitate marriage. They only want the same option to have the union that same-sex couples can have; a union of trust, love, and stability. I now can see more of their side. If I were attracted to women instead of men, I believe I would want that same privilege and right.  I do not understand all things. I cannot comprehend why God has allowed a population of women to be attracted to other women, and men to be attracted to other men. I do know that He loves His children, and has a plan.  If anything, the reading for this week has helped me to have a greater compassion and perspective for those dealing personally with thi...

Recently I read a talk on lds.org that gave me hope and an increased perspective on fighting for our families here on Earth. The talk is called "Protection from Pornography -- a Christ-Focused Home" by Linda S. Reeves. Although she placed her focus on pornography, she spoke in general terms of creating a safe place for our families to feel the spirit and be strengthened against temptation.  These are some of my favorite quotes from her talk:  "Brothers and sisters, how do we protect our children and youth? Filters are useful tools, but the greatest filter in the world, the only one that will ultimately work, is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony of our Heavenly Father’s love and our Savior’s atoning sacrifice for each one of us. How do we lead our children to deep conversion and to access our Savior’s Atonement? I love the prophet Nephi’s declaration of what his people did to fortify the youth of his day: “We talk of Chr...