At times we fail, but Charity never does.

This will probably be my most vulnerable post to date. Without going into specifics, the past few months have been really draining and trying for my husband and I. Our marriage is strong, and so are the problems of everyday life. I have learned recently that it is in the moments that we see each other at our worst that we can either turn against one another, or toward one another. Charity is turning toward one another. Charity is looking outside of my challenges and doing those things that mean so much to my husband, when I don't feel that I can or want to. Charity is him waking up and holding me after I've had a nightmare or can't sleep because emotions of fear and anxiety are so paralyzing. Right now, our days are long, and the weekends are too short. Incredibly taxing demands have been placed upon both of our shoulders, in completely different capacities. And when my sweet husband walks through the door at the end of the day, it feels as if we are clinging to one another and God, holding on to survive. 

Even though I miss the first 8 months of our marriage, and how simple and wonderful they were, I have grown in ways that would not have been possible without these trials. I have felt the strength of angels lifting me and guiding me to complete monotonous every day tasks. I am grateful for God and His never ending love and charity towards us. He is kind, and loving, and full of grace and mercy. He expects much, but He also gives much. He is Charity.

This quote from Goddard's book struck me this week:

"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down" (Marvin J. Ashton, p. 116).

There are many times when I feel that I have let my husband down, especially over the past few months. But yet, he loves me, and he is patient with me. He does not claim to know what I am going through, just as I do not claim to know what he is going through. We just love each other. We cling to one another, and to our Father and Savior. We are not perfect, and we are not always charitable. But we love and we laugh and we cry. We do all within our power not just to endure, but to enjoy. We want others to feel our Savior's love as we do.