Giving 100%

Bruce C. Hafen touched my heart this week with his talk on a "Covenant Marriage." In a contract, each person gives 50 percent. But in a covenant, each individual gives 100 percent.He tells this story to describe a covenant marriage: 

"Another bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, “Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!” “Yes,” replied her mother, “but at which end?” When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent."

I also like that he says in a covenant marriage, "they marry to give and to grow." Instead of taking and receiving, we are to give all that we have to our spouses. I have found that at times in my own marriage, I give more because I can. At other times when I need extra help and support, my husband gives more. We do what we can and trust our partner and the Lord to see us through. A covenant marriage does not focus on "what do I get" but rather "what am I giving?" 

Elder David A. Bednar also talks of marriage and asks these questions of reflection to strengthen the relationship between husbands and wives (or those who are preparing to be married): 

"As we consider the importance of our personal example, do you and I discern areas where we need to improve? Is the Holy Ghost inspiring our minds and softening our hearts and encouraging us to do and to become better? As priesthood and auxiliary leaders, are we focusing our efforts on strengthening marriage and the home?"

He goes on to say that our marriage and family is our first priority, even above Church responsibilities or community obligations: 

"Husbands and wives need time together to fortify themselves and their homes against the attacks of the adversary. As we strive to magnify our callings in the Church, are we unintentionally hindering husbands and wives and mothers and fathers from fulfilling their sacred responsibilities in the home? For example, do we sometimes schedule unnecessary meetings and activities in a way that interferes with the essential relationship between a husband and a wife and their relationships with children?"

Sometimes we have so many good things going on in our lives that we end up giving only 50 percent to our marriage and family, and 50 percent to the rest of our obligations. I understand that school, work, and Church responsibilities are all very important. But at the end of this life, I believe we will be judged heavily on our relationships with our families, and the efforts we made to serve and love them. 

What are some ways we can prioritize our marriage and family relationships, while still giving the necessary time to our other responsibilities?